Read and laugh baby

This is a letter from a very dissappointed husband or should I say a husband who just want to blame the wife. (Well I think most of you have red this before but anyway just to refresh you and make your cramp brain relax a bit)

TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
> 54 times the sheets were clean
> 17 times it was too late
> 49 times you were too tired
> 20 times it was too hot
> 15 times you pretended to be sleep
> 22 times you had a headache
> 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
> 16 times you said you were too sore
> 12 times it was the wrong time of the month
> 19 times you had to get up early
> 9 times you said weren't in the mood
> 7 times you were sunburned
> 6 times you were watching the late show
> 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
> 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
> 9 times you said your mother would hear us

>>> Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
>> 6 times you just lay there
> 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
> 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
> 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
> 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

>> KEEP READING.......>> =====================================================

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
*5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
*36 times you did not come home at all
* 21 times you didn't cum
* 33 times you came too soon
* 19 times you went soft before you got in
*38 times you worked too late
*10 times you got cramps in your toes
*29 times you had to get up early to play golf
*2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
*4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
*3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
*2 times you had a splinter in your finger
*20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
*6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
*98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:
* The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
*I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
*The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.